When your past can become your future
by MaryBBlove23
Summary: Jason is confronted with Jason Q's past when in a time of need someone reaches out to him. With the help of some family members and friends he never thought he could count on he finally opens his eyes to see what he wants and needs out of his own future.
1. Chapter 1

Jason's eyes popped open as if he was awoken by a dream, but as he adjusted his eye's to the dark he knew that he never dreamed so there was no way he was awoken by a dream. As his eyes adjusted he came into view of all of his master bedroom in his penthouse. He began to start to sit up when he realized his arm was under Sam's body. He very quickly and without any trouble removed his arm without waking her up. As he set up and leaned his head against the wall he realized he was still trying to calm his self and his heart rate. He slowly turned his head down to look at Sam as she laid there. They had finally said I love you to each other putting them back to the way they once were. If he really was honest with himself he would know what his heart has always known, she wasn't his first, last or always. Life hasn't played out the way he would have exactly wanted it too but in the end he wasn't alone so he would take what was given to him.

_JASON_

His attention was alerted to what had woke him up. He looked back at Sam and saw she was still sleeping, and the voice he just heard wasn't hers. He was now on alert. Who and what was going on. Was he losing his mind, was this an actual dream?

_Jason it's snowing outside._

He couldn't help but notice that his heart rate was way up and he was having some trouble catching his breath, almost like he just got done running a 5k. He goes to lean his head back against the wall and closes his eyes. He brings his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose just like he always does when he needs to calm down, hoping this action like always calms him down.

_Jason it's snowing outside, you have to see this._

Before he even knows it he is getting out of his bed and going to the dresser and grabbing a folded T-shirt that hadn't been put away yet and putting it on. He then without even thinking goes to the door and walks out of it and closes it behind him. As he is walking down the hall he comes to Spinelli's door and sees it is cracked open. As he peers through it hoping to see his roommate awake and that he could make sense of what is going on he is only greeted by seeing both Spinelli and Maxi sound asleep. Before he knows it he is walking down the stairs and turns right a way to go look out the balcony doors. He sees nothing but the city below and snow flacks falling down all around the city. He can't help but notice the city looks so peaceful.

_Jason, Lila needs you. Please come._

He quickly turns his whole body around and he scans the bottom of the apartment, trying to find the source of the voice. But all he comes up with is an empty apartment that is shadowed by the lights of the city. He notices his heart rate is still very high and he is still trying to catch his breath. He notices his mind is on full alert but not like when there is danger around. As he turns back around to look back out on to the city he is as confused as ever. How could his grandmother that has long passed need his help? He stands looking out at the snow and the city hoping to find some answers.

_Jason there isn't much time, please Lila needs your help._

Before he knows it he finds himself walking to the hall closet and opening it. He bends down and grabs his motorcycle boots and he finds himself putting his feet into them and lacing them up even without socks on his feet. He then grabs his leather jacket and puts it on. He then walks to the desk grabs his wallet that is usually never there and sticking it into the pocket of his jacket. He grabs his keys before he can even think and before he knows it he is out the door and proceeding to walk down the stairs, two at a time. He briefing thinks how something is pulling him for everything he has done he hasn't even thought about, almost like his is on auto pilot. He finally makes it to the parking garage and when he mounts the bike he hears it again.

_Please hurry Jason, Lila needs you._

The parking garage is filled with the sound of the bike starting up and then proceeding to leave very quickly. Jason finds his self riding and having no idea where he is going but yet something or someone was pulling him. Before he knows it he finds he has stopped by the cemetery. He dismounts the bike once more on auto pilot. As he stares into the cemetery he feels a shiver going all the way down his back, but he knows it's not from the cold since that isn't something that has ever affected him before. He still feels he is on high alert but it's nothing like he has ever felt before, there was no danger he feels just something he doesn't know how to explain.

_There isn't much time please I beg you Jason please hurry. Lila doesn't have much time._

Jason quickly scans his surroundings trying to find something to explain what is going on. He's eyes come up with nothing. He can't help but believe he has heard this voice before but for some reason can't seem to place it. He then without even thinking about it starts to walk further into the cemetery.

He soon comes to an area he knows well even if he doesn't come often. In his line of view is the building that holds all the Quartermaine's that are resting in peace. As he scans the area around this building he soon sees the bench in front of the building and with the help of the light from that moon he realizes something is lying on the bench. When he walks to it the breeze from the wind allows him to see a rock is weighing something down. He reaches down and grabs the rock and then sees it's some kind of envelope and what catches his eye the most is his name printed on it. Before he realizes it he is sitting down on the bench and proceeding to open the envelope. As he goes and takes out the letter and opens it he doesn't even need to look at the bottom to see who it is from since the handwriting is his grandmother's.

_My dearest Jason_

_I have always loved you, as Jason Quatermaine and now as Jason Morgan. I have always done my best to respect your wishes and love you for you and not for a past you can't remember. I hope you felt I did that. I know you always felt most of the Quartermaine's pressured you into remembering and for all I saw it was true .For that I am truly sorry if they caused you pain. I know you wanted to start fresh and have a new identity and I have never had a problem with that but my dearest Grandson, did you not think Jason Quartermaine had a past? One that may in the end come back and haunts you? How about one that ends up being a blessing? Please I pray you won't be mad when things come out, I was a mother making another mother a promise. I want only the best for you. Please if I only ask one thing of you it's this please listen to everything before you decide anything. I understand that this letter will not exactly make sense but please be patience, things have a way of working out the way it's always meant to be._

_Love you always_

_Lila_

He must have set there on the bench rereading the letter before him three or four times before he finally looked up from it. He was no where even close to figuring out what the hell was going on. As he looked around his eyes landed on the plaque that held his grandmother's name. For whatever reason one he knew he couldn't explain he felt some peace, peace he hadn't felt in a long time.

_Jason, please hurry…I need you, she needs you. Please I am begging you, hurry._

Jason felt a shock go through his whole body with hearing this last plea. The voice sounded so familiar. It was like the name was on the tip of his tongue. But what had his heart actually ache was the desperation in the voice. Something was wrong, something he had a feeling he was going to be the only one to fix, but what? As he goes to grab the envelope to put the letter back in something catches his eyes in the envelope. He reaches in and grabs it, noticing right away it is some kind of picture. With the help of the moonlight he looks right into the eyes of his grandmother. There in the picture is his beautiful grandmother Lila smiling up at the camera. The next thing that catches his eye is what is in her arms, a bundle of pink blanket. As he is looking at the picture nothing makes sense. This doesn't look like a recent picture, but why is someone calling him to help Lila? He goes and turns the photo around and his is met with some handwriting.

_**Lila's first day with Lila**_

There is no date only thing he can see is the name and address of a New York hospital. Before he knows it he is trying very hard to catch his breath. He feels like his heart is about to beat out of his chest. He must sit there for a few minutes trying to process everything he is thinking but as he sits there it isn't helping him calm down. His whole body at this point is on high alert. But what he doesn't understand is that he isn't feeling danger. All of a sudden like once again on auto pilot he bolts up off the bench and walks as quickly back to his bike. Once again as soon as he mounts the bike he hears the voice.

_I don't want to hurt you, But Jason please hurry. Lila doesn't have much time._

This times it's not a garage that feels up with the loud noise of a bike starting and speeding off it's the quiet night air of Port Charles.


	2. Chapter 2

Jason finally stops his motorcycle in a hospital parking lot just as the dark sky turns to an orange glow as the sun finally rises. It was a nonstop two and a half hours that he rode with only a few hours of sleep behind him, but yet he was wide awake. As he steps off the bike and turns to look at the front of the hospital he feels his self getting nervous. What was he going to be meeting in side those doors? He goes to stretch and gets the kinks out of his body when he finally takes a notice on what he is wearing and he actually starts to smile and softly chuckle to himself. Great he may be actually going to see what is going on but end up in the physic ward. He is wearing motorcycle boots with no socks, black silk pajama bottoms, and black t-shirt with a motorcycle jacket on top of it. He also knows without looking at a mirror his blonde locks are sticking up all over the place. Make matters worse he is going to go in there and what ask "by any chance do you have a patience named Lila Quartermaine?" Yup, Physic wards welcome Jason Morgan. He finally starts to walk to the front door of the hospital. He tries with his hand to tame his blonde locks with his fingers. He never notices behind him a black SUV park alongside his bike or the female driver with the biggest grin on her face that hasn't appeared in a few weeks.

Jason makes it into the hospital lobby and as he looks around he realizes most hospitals must have the same lay out. As he makes it to the front desk he notices right away the nurse sitting there looks him up and down with an amused look in her eyes. She however doesn't laugh or say anything so it makes him feel a little better, maybe it's normal for people to come to the hospital in their pajamas.

"Sir, can I help you with anything?" She says in a very pleasant voice.

As he looks at her he has no idea what to say. He is guessing he needs to ask for Lila Quartermaine, but he doesn't want to look like an idiot if there isn't a Lila Quartermaine as a patience . He finally throws caution to the wind.

"Yes I am looking for Lila Quartermaine's room." There he did it and now he finds he is holding his breath waiting to see what the nurse says or does.

As he is holding his breath he notices the nurse look him up and down once more and pauses before she speaks. Doesn't she know she is causing him to freak out, finally after what seems like forever but only a few seconds she finally speaks.

"Are you family sir? Her tone is just as pleasant as before.

Before he could even begin to think on how to respond to that question someone speaks up behind him.

"Hey Lori, this is Jason Morgan my husband. He is on the list of approved visitors."

Jason swings his head to the right side and sees his ex-wife standing there in all her glory. He didn't even know whether to be mad because come on if Brenda is involved this will give him a headache or happy because at least now he might get some answers and not feel like he is going insane. But he notices right away she hasn't yet to look his way, she is just staring at the nurse.

"Oh well then Mrs. Morgan I am sure you will be able to show him to her room. I will keep you guys in my thoughts and hope today will be a good day." She gives them both a small smile.

Before he knows it he feels himself being yanked by Brenda down the hall toward a small sitting area. Brenda finally stops and takes a seat. He doesn't sit he just stares down at her. She has yet to look at him in the face. Finally she looks up and sees a question on his face. He sees her roll her eyes at him and looks at him innocently.

"What I am too lazy to go get my last name changed back to Barrett." With that she chuckles at him.

He finds he can't help but be amused by her and her bluntness. He brings his hand up to his face and rubs it before he sits down. He then looks at her, really looks at her. He sees she isn't "Super Model" Brenda sitting by him. He has seen her at her best and he has seen her at her worst and this Brenda looks like someone in between. He notices she is wearing jeans and white sneakers. She has what looks like a white tank top on beneath a black hoodie. She has no makeup on and there are slight bags under her eyes. She has her hair piled into a messy pony tail. So many questions start to fill his head. Before he can even voice any he feels Brenda take his hands in hers. He finds she is looking at him directly in the eyes.

"Look Jace I know you have a lot of questions." She pauses as if she is trying to think of the right thing to say to him. "But it's not my story to tell. Please I pray you will really listen and really think everything over before you do anything. Can you promise me that?" He can tell her thoughts are all over the place as she speaks. There is something pleading in her eyes that let him know she is being honest and direct with him even if she can't tell him much.

All he finds he can do is nods his head at her. There are so many things going through his head he starts to feel a headache coming on.

Brenda just keeps looking at him for a few moments before she speaks.

"I will go get you some fresh clothes to change into. Your still the same size right?" but she doesn't even give him a chance to answer as she lets go of his hands and stands up. She looks down at him and speaks very softly.

"Room 504" with that she turns and starts walking back to the front doors.

Jason finds he can't help but watch her go. He sees she is walking very slow and there isn't the usually skip in her step. Her shoulders are drooped a little and her hands are in her hoodie pockets. He keeps hearing her say its room 504 over and over in his head. He then notices she stops and quickly turns around and makes her way back to him. She stops right in front of him. He can tell she wants to say something else to him so he just softly smiles at her hoping it will help her.

"I have been carrying this around with me for the last few days. I really didn't know why, but I guess now I do. I promise I wouldn't say anything to you so I will keep my promise, but I can give you something." With that she pulls out something folded from her pocket and extends her hand for him to take it. He reaches for it and grabs it. As soon as it's in this hand she once again turns around and quickly walks to the front doors.

This time he doesn't look at her as she leaves his eyes are on what is in his hand. He goes to unfold it and realizes it's another picture. This time it's the back of the picture he sees first and once again there is writing. It's the same writing as the other picture.

_**The brat pack**_

He flips the photo and is blasted back to Jason Q's past. He notices right way a younger version of A.J. and Brenda and of course Jason Q. He would have to guess they are around 15 and A.J. being around 17. They are sitting in a row with the beach behind them. They have their arms linked. But what has his heart actually stop is the fourth person in the picture that is sitting on the end and right next to Jason Q. As if a flood broke in his head he is over whelmed with images going a mile a minute. He has to bring both of his hands to his temples to try and relive some of the tense. It takes a few moments to finally have the tense stop. He once again takes a look at the picture and before he knows it he hears himself speak.

"Aly" it's nothing but a whisper.

Jason then goes and leaps out of his seat. As he looks around he notices the door to the stairwell. Before he can even think about it he races to the door and runs up the stairs. He finds himself running up five flights of stairs. As he busts open the door to the fifth floor he is breathing as hard as he ever has before. He actually has to bend over to catch his breath. When he finally catches it he looks around and notices no one is around, he actually says a silent thank you for that. His eyes go to the doors to find room 504. It seems like someone is on his side for once because he actually finds the door after only walking down the hall a few seconds. At least it wasn't all the other side of the building from the stairs. As he stands right in front of the room he notices this room door has the glass in the door covered so he can't even look inside it. He goes to reach for the handle of the door and takes a huge breath in and then slowly exhales it. He then goes and slowly opens the door. When he finally has it open and looks inside he is met with an image that has him stop and his tracks.

"Oh My God" he whispers.

**Lrobinson01 the answer to your question is yes. I tried to PM you but it wouldn't let me. Ok so I just want to put this up right now, I will not have Jason go back to Jason Q, Even though if you read I have that images start to come back to him. There is a reason for that and it will be explained in chapters to come. Yes things are very vague but once again all will come out in chapters to come. Any questions just let me know.**


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